Q:i'm not into fat chicks but if i wasn't already seeing someone id still totally bang you
the speech impediment of the 21st century (by Marc Johns)
I’ll fuck you up buddy this is not a speech impediment it’s linguistic evolution!! the existence of the phrase “Aisha was like” allows the speaker to convey whatever Aisha said without making the listener assume they’re quoting Aisha directly while still maintaining the FEELING of what Aisha said.
ie, Aisha said she didn’t want to go out with me VERSUS Aisha was like, “I’d rather kiss a Wookie”.
the addition of “XYZ was like” lets the speaker be more expressive and efficient and it is a totally valid method of communicating information!!
With the way language has evolved, this is one of the few ways I can even think of to express in casual conversation what someone said.
"So I said to Aisha," is certainly used, but if you remove the "so," which implies casual tone ("and" can be used in the same way), you get
"I said to Aisha," which is really formal in most English dialects/variations. I don’t know about all, but in New England dialects, you sound like you’re reading aloud from a novel.
"I told Aisha," is really only used when you continue to describe, not tell, what you told her. Ex: "I told Aisha that James was too punk for her" works while, "I told Aisha, ‘James is too punk for you’" crosses the line back into formalness of the "I said."
Things like “I asked” or “I answered [with]” are similar levels of casual and efficient to the “So, I said [or say, as many conversations about the past take place in present tense anyway, as if the speaker is giving a play-by-play in the moment]” but are specific to only certain situations.
"I was like, 'Marc Johns, what is your obsession with restoring archaic speech patterns and interfering with the natural progression of English from complex to efficient?'" envelopes all of these easily and is accessible and crisp, and allows for more variations on inflection than the others.
Of course, James is probably like, “I already fucking said that.” But eh, I tried adding on.
This a million times
Bruce Wayne watched both of his parents die.
Tony Stark has heart problems and anxiety.
Peter Parker saw his uncle being murdered.
Steve Rogers lost his best friend.
Bruce Banner attempted suicide.
If they can save the world, you can get through this day.
Never stop fighting.
none of these people are real
god forbid kids be allowed to draw comfort and inspiration from fiction i mean what do you kick puppies for fun
dude Oprah isn’t real either, nor is anything we call “reality TV,” nor is any game show ever aired, anything with a “live studio audience,” any commercial, most news articles and broadcasts…
The Muppets and Mr. Rogers aren’t real, but I dare you to say they didn’t really change the lives of millions of people, educate us and our children, inspire our art, and make us really better people who really felt loved and understood and confident.
Stories aren’t about being factually real, they’re about being TRUE in a way facts never are.
Wait wait wait……………………………………………………………………………………..Oprah isn’t REAL?